Getting close to triple digits on the can't wait to golf meter

Ah, the lazy days of winter as we wait for the cold chill to leave and the local golf courses to utilize the art of cheap specials to get hackers out on the links.
But there are a few duffers like myself who await the first tee time of the year by taking a few hacks at the driving range and for every good swing comes the illusion of putting together a good round of golf. Seems funny that we can't wait to play and even though our expectations are probably way, way too high, we are smitten by the golf bug.
Looking for the online specials to find the best deals to play a game that kicks our butts on a regular basis -- surely there must be some kind of diagnosis for this kind of behavior, "insanity" comes to mind.
But nonetheless, we anxiously wait for the special deal to allow us to pursue our passion -- albiet that passion comes cheaply. Meaning we shall not overpay for the opportunity to abuse ourselves.
I'm talking cheap. We buy "Big Drivers" at the local St. Vinny for as little as we can get away with. We look at garage sales for bargains like; golf balls at 4 for a buck, or nearly new bags or club covers for pennies on the quarter, or pull carts that look hardly used. We smile as we walk from the sale with a prized find that only belabors the fact we are delusional in thinking that this may be the item that helps us breakthrough the triple-digit score -- into the upper 90s.
We are a delusional lot, but pretty harmless -- unless you happen to be standing anywhere near us while we are teeing off, then we can be deadly.
Mark Twain said "golf is a nice walk in the park ruined." We say "what do you mean park, I spend most of my time in the rough."
Soon we shall golf. Soon.